Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

If you lived in South Africa, would you support nuclear power as a solution to the country's energy woes?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Why do women have sex with dogs?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

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Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Why is sin so sweet?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I see through liars

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

What is the reason for the high rate of unmarried individuals in America, particularly among males?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I always feel very tired after I do some exercises, even after a night's sleep. What's the problem?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

‘Oh f**k’: Sean O’Malley describes how Merab Dvalishvili submitted him, admits ‘I don’t feel sad at all’ after loss - MMA Fighting

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Has your wife or girlfriend ever been felt up in public by a stranger?

I don’t cotton to rapists

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What is something you have to share?

I can read

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

What can you do if you are a full-grown adult, but never experienced being a child?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand how hurricane paths work

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I can count

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t buy bullshit

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have a reading level above third grade

If someone works for me, I actually pay them